“This is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.”  This is the way our Gospel lesson from Matthew for the ninth Sunday after Pentecost concludes.  Jesus promises a great deal of fruitfulness.  However, life doesn’t always seem fruitful; as a matter of fact there are times when life appears to be barren and unfruitful.

What is the fruit that is promised to come forth in our lives many times over?  Early in life it was easy for me to think that the fruit of a Christian is other Christians, Therefore, the way we bear fruit is to convert others to Christianity.  I no longer believe that the evangelical zeal of converting others is what Jesus calls everyone to do in order for us to have a fruitful life.  There are those on the opposite side of the spectrum who would say that the bearing of fruit is material wealth.  After all, Jesus was using a farming metaphor, and the result of seeds for the farmer is his or her livelihood.  Those who believe in a “prosperity gospel” would say that our fruitfulness is evident in the amount of material wealth we obtain.  This idea is in direct opposition to Jesus’ teaching that we cannot serve both God and money. 

How then are we as human beings to be fruitful and what does it have to do with the seed of the word of God planted in our lives?  Henry Nouwen was an author of over 40 books, a psychologist, and a catholic priest.  He has been read and praised by both Catholics and Protestants alike.  He spent the last years of his life living and working in a community of developmentally disabled people in Canada. Nouwen’s book, “Lifesigns; Intimacy, Fecundity and Ecstasy in Christian Perspective” confronts the issue of human fruitfulness using the older term, fecundity.

Nouwen connects fruitfulness with intimacy and ecstasy through allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.  It is in being vulnerable that we allow our true selves to be known by others, and without being known we cannot be loved.  To be loved there must be comprehension of another.  The level of intimacy we reach in allowing ourselves to be known is directly related to the ability to be truly loved.  Spiritual and emotional nakedness is a very real part of the experience of love.

Intimacy and vulnerability can be difficult to achieve because of fear.  If we have confidence in God’s love and are not afraid that God will judge and condemn us, then we can develop and grow in our love for God.  Similarly, if we have confidence in the acceptance and love of others we then feel free to love and be loved.  It is intimacy and vulnerability that allows us to be emotionally and spiritually fruitful.  That’s why our stories are so important.

We all have a history.  Who we are as a person is impacted by our experiences; positive and negative; good and bad.  Our stories must be told.  We must share who we are with others.  We can each do it in our own way, in our own time, and with those we are comfortable telling the story. But our fruitfulness comes in sharing ourselves with others through our stories, and through listening to the stories of others.  This mutual sharing and listening multiplies many times over and is our fruitfulness.  Telling our story is our ability to create and change the world.

The word seed that is planted inside of us by Christ is the word of acceptance and love.  It is the message from our reading in Romans for this week.  “There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”  God does not condemn the world, but the entire world is redeemed and loved by God. We are all in Christ Jesus.  Human beings may reject and condemn, but God does not.  God is love.  We can trust God with our story.  God will not condemn.  God is intertwined with our stories.

Prior to coming out as a gay man, I saw many therapists and counselors.  My goal initially was to get help not to be gay.  I refused to admit to myself or others that this is a part of who I am.  It is not all that I am, but it is a part of me.  Every time I had feelings of attraction for another man I would have horrible feelings of guilt due to my fear of rejection by God and those around me. I finally saw a therapist, who was also a Lutheran minister, who encouraged me to be myself.  His encouragement, along with years of prayer and Bible study, eventually led me to be able to tell my story and admit to myself and others that I am a gay man. The first person I told was my daughter.

We can have complete confidence in God to be vulnerable and honest.  God does not condemn.  There are many human beings who take it upon themselves to condemn, but I have found that not everyone is condemning.  Those who truly love me accept me for who I am.  Yet, there are still times and places where I am not going to be totally open and vulnerable on this part of my life voluntarily.  It is easy to condemn an idea or a concept.  It is far more difficult to condemn an individual we see face to face. That’s why our stories are so important.

The human race is created in grand diversity.  Every story is worthy of being told.  Gay or straight, rich or poor, those from functional families and dysfunctional families, all have stories to tell. Every story must be told over and over again and in various ways to different people.  If we know others, then we can love them.  We get to know them by hearing their story.  It is a sacred thing to tell our stories and reveal who we are. In the telling we become spiritually fruitful as we spread the good news of God’s acceptance for everyone. 

The Apostles told the stories of their experience with Christ.  I have shared part of my story of my experience of Christ’s acceptance.  Your life can be enriched as you tell your stories to God, yourself and to others.  We can allow others to know us.  It is in knowing that the capacity for love and acceptance is present.  The fewer secrets we keep about the comedies and tragedies of our lives, the more complete and fruitful we will become.  The Gospel tells us that Jesus sets us free.  Every freedom has an obligation.  Ours is to love God and those around us.  Let’s always be willing to listen to others’ stories and share our own so that we can know one another enough to love and be loved in return.

Genesis 25:19-34

Romans 8:1-11
Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23

It is hard for most of us in modern western society to imagine getting married for any reason other than because we love our partner.  However, this hasn’t been the case for very long.  In reality the institution of marriage as we think of it is fairly new.  For most of history marriage has been viewed as a patriarchal system where men dominate women either for material gain or to have children.  It was only the 1950s when many people thought that a woman’s place was in the home taking care of children, cleaning and cooking for her husband.

Different ideas about sex and equality have radically reshaped marriage into what most people in western society think of as an equal partnership.  The church has often contributed to limiting the scope of marriage.  The failure to recognize the possibility of divorce, the idea that sex is sin and the view that marriage is primarily for the purpose of child rearing has contributing to the patriarchal view of marriage.  Changing attitudes about the permanence of marriage, recognition that sex is a gift from God and the understanding that not all couples have children has changed marriage radically.  Today we often think of marriage as the ultimate expression of love.

Interestingly some people have the idea that marriage has always been an egalitarian institution and insist that’s just the way it is, while others insist that marriage must return to the more narrow practices and concepts of the 1950s.  Perhaps much of the stress about the changes taking place in the institution of marriage in our society is more from a sense of nostalgia and idealism that were never actually true.

Our Scripture lessons this Eighth Sunday after Pentecost include readings from Genesis chapter 24, where Abraham sent his servant to arrange a marriage for his son Isaac.  There was no discussion about feelings of love, negotiations about living arrangements, role expectations, or financial implications beyond the initial dowry obligations.  It appears that a major factor for Abraham was that Isaac have deeper clan ties with his own family. Therefore he sought a wife for Isaac from among his cousins. 

When Rebekah was brought to Isaac, there was no exchange of vows or ceremony.  Instead Isaac took comfort in his mother’s death by being intimate with Rebekah.  It does not appear that there was any other social recognition of the marriage than the agreement with Rebekah’s father and the intimate union of Isaac and Rebekah.  I can think of more than a few couples who would have preferred to have a simple wedding rather than the extravagant ceremony and reception they experienced.  Weddings today cost tens of thousands of dollars.  While the importance of the event should not be minimized, there is something to be said for keeping things simple.

People have been married for all kinds of reasons.  A woman whose father died without a male heir could have been forced to marry her nearest male relative.  God only knows the number of people who have married as a career move.  Some women have been forced to marry in spite of the spouse having multiple other wives.  It must have been a challenge to have been married to King Solomon.  Countless numbers of people have been married because it was prearranged by their families.  European Aristocrats were sometimes allowed to choose the spouses for everyone in their village.  A debating society in the eighteenth century declared that women must consider money when choosing a partner.

Over the years love has been connected to marriage in many different ways.  It has been written that love can only truly be experienced in adultery, outside the bonds of matrimony.  In Virginia during the 1690s it was considered impolite to love one’s spouse passionately.  Protestant ministers often warned against loving one’s spouse too much, since this could undermine the husband’s authority. 

Perhaps the story of the first couple in the Bible can shed some light on the reason for marriage.  One creation story indicates that God created Adam, and that the man was not satisfied with the companionship of animals, even in a utopian garden.  Adam was lonely.  Therefore, God created Eve.  This story indicates that the reason for marriage is companionship and pleasure. 

The church started viewing marriage as a sacrament about the time of the fall of the political Roman Empire and the rise of the Holy Roman Empire.  Although there may have been the added benefit of maintaining power by keeping control over members of society’s primary relationships, I agree that marriage is indeed sacramental.  It is a sacred mystery that transcends the physical world and helps bring spiritual realties into our lives.  The New Testament explains that the bond between spouses is to be like the bond between Christ and believers.   

In his book, “A Ray of Darkness” Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, states that, “there are relationships other than Christian heterosexual marriage that show more of the grace of mutual disposition and creation than many duly and religiously blessed unions seem to.”  Williams recognized that there are people who are living together in primary relationships that the majority of Christianity would not consider to be marriage that are more sacramental than some Christian marriages.

Western society is beginning to recognize that marriage is a primary relationship that anyone should have the right to choose to participate in with the one they love, regardless of gender.  Same-sex marriages are legal in some places, and the transition to move toward acceptance of gay couples continues.  In this case I’m afraid the state is far ahead of most of the church on this issue.  We pray the church will not only catch up with where the state is when it comes to equality, but actually surpass the state and lead the fight for justice and acceptance. 

Our Gospel lesson today reminds us "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens and I will give you rest.” Jesus didn’t place restrictions on who is allowed to come to him.  One way we come to Jesus is through the sacraments. The church should not place restrictions on who can share in the sacrament of marriage.  I long for the day when the majority of the Christian faith will uphold the notion that all of the sacraments are for all of the people, including the sacrament of marriage.

Genesis 24:34-38, 42-49, 58-67

Romans 7:15-25a
Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30